Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Remarriage to the Same Spouse: A Second Chance


Wow! After being remarried to my husband for almost six years now (divorced from each other for six years prior to that), I am still AMAZED at the miracle Christ worked in our lives. Don't ever say,"That will never happen to me" because that very statement can come back to haunt you if it truly is your mindset. My husband (a Confessional Lutheran blogger too) and I both had that attitude about our marriage, especially when we would witness another marriage breaking up or showing MAJOR signs of distress. We were best friends and had God at the center of our marriage, so we thought. HOWEVER, after the birth of our son, signs of distress in our marriage began to surface more and more. After about three years of growing more and more distant with each other, he moved out, followed with a divorce about ten months later. You see, we didn't take the necessary preventative measures to protect our marriage which led to disaster.

To make a very long and painful story short, we took six years to work through the EXTREMELY DEEP hurt with the help of our pastor and other Christian counselors. With our family by our side, we were remarried to EACH other on Easter Sunday!! That only happened through the grace of God and God alone!!!

Christ took all of that pain and turned it into a deeper love for Him and for each other as well as for our family! Do we have a perfect marriage and family? No, absolutely not. We are sinners saved by His grace, and each day we walk in His TRUTH and GRACE together. We are the BEST of friends again and enjoy being together as a couple and family, all praise and glory to God. And to add, we take the preventative measures now to protect our marriage and family. What are some of those measures, you ask? Well, I will save that for another post. For now, I just pray that you will be encouraged to make Christ first and love your mate as Christ has commanded each of us married people in the Bible. By the way, throughout those long six years of reconciliation, Christ always seemed to encourage me to never give up on our marriage. In that timespan, I counted that I must have encountered around eighty couples who were having difficulties in their marriages (some separated and some divorced for various reasons) but who reconciled!! Wow, God can do the impossible!!



"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19: 4 - 6

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this story. It gives me hope. I am hoping that my ex-husband and I can find a way back to each other and I know God is the only way for this impossible thing to happen. I pray every day to find a way and I know in the face of the impossible God is there. Thank you and bless you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Anonymous! I am sorry for not responding right away. I am glad that our story has given you hope. I will pray that Christ will do this impossible thing in your life! Please keep me posted so I will know how to pray!! Thanks! Blessings! :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your story. My husband and I have been separated now for almost 3 years and our divorce has yet to be completed. He is in the process of reconciling with the Lord which is a HUGE blessing in and of itself. Now, I feel God telling me to wait on finishing the divorce papers. I still have hope and I pray for us every day. Thank you so much for sharing...it builds my hope!

Lutheran Lucy said...

Hello R's wife! Thank you for sharing your situation with me. I will keep you both in my prayers. It is hard at times to wait on God to work everything out, but it DEFINITELY worth it!!! I can still lay awake at night and just be overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for restoring our marriage and family. It is still a huge relief to be together again, and it now has been 7 years since we remarried each other!! Please keep me posted! Christ will get you through it!! Blessings! :)

Anonymous said...

My wife just left me 2 days ago. Her brother-in-law is in town and he is 16 and she took him too. She is staying at an unsaved single guy who is a somewhat mutual friend. I do not believ she has been unfaithful. I just don't believe should be getting council from him.

I know we have become distant too. I think I became numb to what I needed to give to her to let her know I love her. I have been lazy and unmotivated latley. We got married and moved one later across the country. New marriage, new location, moved 3 times since we have reached this coast and it has been too much to handle I guess. I know what changes we have to make. I thought we were working on them but it has only been 3 and half weeks since we spoke to our pastor back home where we were married. Please pray for us. Please pray to unharden her heart. I love her with my life. I have not shown it but I feel this is a real wake up call. Please email me at dchaverty at Yahoo dot com if you have anything to respond to. I will try to check back here when I can. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Hi David! Thanks for your comments. I have been praying for you and will try to put some thoughts together for you. Right now I am getting ready to go on vacation for a couple of weeks. I will continue to keep you and your wife in my prayers. Just stay strong in God's Word and in prayer. Blessings!

Anonymous said...

I myself told my exhusband Hell would freeze over first, told God anyone but HIM!!! and dated guys who were everything he was but their selling point is that they were not HIM.
After much counseling God has showed me that I am stubborn selfish and spoiled and a tempest to say the least and my exhusbands training in the Marines has left him with backbone and bossiness to spare and we got remarried last night! Eloped.. my single alleycat girl friends are in shock and ready to commit me, my family is dancing a jewish jig and goin told ya so!!! my coworkers are teasing me and happy. It has been a saga three yrs in the making since our seperation and subsequent divorce last April. Now people are calling us liz taylor and richard burton hahahaha.
Dont tell God "anyone but him" you will find yourself face with face with the HIM.

Scottius Maximus said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lutheran Lucy said...

Anonymous, I am happy that you and your ex remarried after all that counseling!! That is truly a miracle! I will keep you both in my prayers and pray that you will always make Christ first in your lives and marriage. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi, Lutheran Lucy,
I just found your website and I, too, appreciate the encouragement. My ex of 18 months is saying he can never come home. Up until this last week, we have pretty much been doing things together 2-3 times per week. He said he was "trying" while we took a family camping trip but his "trying" lasted for only 7 days as he says he just does not have any feelings for me. He is obsessed with a younger woman (20 years younger than my ex) at his work. She has been constantly encouraging him to come home. I believe God wants our marriage restored. We had been married almost 29 years.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anonymous! I haven't forgotten you and having been praying for you. My mom has been very ill so I haven't had much time for my blog. Anyway, that is good that this woman is encouraging your husband to come home. Don't give up and stay in God's Word and prayer. Have you read the book, Love Must Be Tough, by Dr. James C. Dobson? Hang in there!

Hebrews 11:1

Anonymous said...

Hello, I was married to a man over 30 years ago. We were married for thirteen years before our marriage ended in divorce.
I went my way, and he went his. I have thought about him over the years and on occasion tried to connect with him by way of the telephone. He married a good friend of mine and I moved on to marry an abusive man. That marriage ended in divorce.
When I heard my first husbands wife had passed away two years ago I contacted him with the hope we would be reunited.
Today we are rekinding a new found love.

Lutheran Lucy said...

Hello Anonymous! I wrote you a comment a couple of weeks ago, and it wouldn't post. Then our little baby we adopted (15 mths. now) woke up - he along with our teenager keep me busy. I am also recovering from losing my mom 3 mths. ago so I apologize for being so late in responding!

Anyway, this is an exciting story, and I am praying for you both!! Please keep me posted!!!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Lucy I am thankful to God for you remarriage. My wife of eleven years divorced me. I am praying for restoration of my marriage. can you help with any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Lutheran Lucy,

I am so happy after reading your story. My ex-wife and I filed for dovorce in Feb this year. It was accepted the same day in Japan where I currently reside but declined in the US. It was not a month after my divorce that my heart cried out and has not been the same since. I pray everynight to restore my marriage and bring my wife and two children home. She is involved with someone and he is doing everything to prevent us from restoring our family. I can sometimes see it in my wifes heart she wants to rebuild our family. But sometimes she will tell it is possible and others tell me never. She wants to move on. I constantly tell her I love her and do things to show my genuine love for her. She accepts it sometimes and others not so well. I don't know what to do and how to approach. Do I give her, her space and just pray hoping God will convict her heart. However, I am so afriad to let her go. Because I fear that if I give her to much space she will move on with this other person. I do pray everynight and morning for her and our two children. And for the most part she does let me speak to our children everyday. I tell my children I love their mother. She tells me not to tell them that I love her but I want them to know how much I care for their mother and truly love her. Should I not tell my children these things. I spoke with my pastor and it was very good. But it seems like Satan is constantly trying to break our chances os restoration. My heart is convicted and my pastor has told not to give up and to constant pray. I am told that God wants our marriage restored and to have patience and let God do his work. It is truly so hard because I realize all my faults as a husband and want to be there for my wife consantly where I was not before. I love her but my love for God is much greater. I realize that before I was looking for answers and God always showed me the way but they were not the answer I wanted. I took them as something else and got involved with another women and truly pushed my wife so hard to leave. I can understand her hatred for me and just pray and hope she will open her heart again and know that I have out God first and not my own selfish ways. My heart is truly so troubled. Everynight I have trouble sleeping and cry myself to sleep. I miss my family. But the one good thing from this is that my relationship with God is strong again. And stronger than it was before. However when I read my bible everynight I fear because I read about things and see the person I was before and am shocked by my behavior. I was so devoted to serving God and somehow got off track and ended up where I am now. Lost confused and on my knees again. Praise the Lord that I am looking to God for guidance. Because before I would try to talk to God but still live a life in sin. I just hope that my marriage can be restored and that I do not get off track this time. If you have any advice please share it.

God Bless you.

Anonymous said...

My husband left my kids and I 2 yrs ago. We were divorced October of last year. During that whole time he was gone, he would go back and forth between wanting to be here and not. I have been standing since the day he left believing God for the restoration of our marriage. He married a 20 yrd Filipino girl last month and I am just devastated. I don't know anymore if God had really wanted me to be praying for the restoration of my marriage or if that was just me deluding myself. He told me he loves me but that we are simply not compatible. He says that he's "in love" with her and that she is the type of woman he has always wanted: submissive. and that she makes him happy.
I am so heartbroken...
Does God only restore certain marriages?
Hurting in Arizona...

Anonymous said...

I was divorced 22 years ago but with none biblical reason,I remarried and my husband abuses me verbally and I have been miserable for 20 years,my ex husband remarried and is divorced again,we still love each other and are planning on getting back together,I am a christian he is a catholic,we love each other so much we are willing to risk whatever might happen in the eyes of God,we have a child together from when we were married.
We really believe God has brought us back together.
This is not easy for us.

natasha bassett said...

i really want to get back to gether with my ex but he is with somone now and i dont think he wants me any more. this blog has helped me. i am not going to give up.

Anonymous said...

I need prayers for my husband Jim of 15 yrs. to come home and remarry me. He is seeing his secy who also left her husband to chase him. He loves me still but is afraid I will never really forgive him. Anne Marie

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I am glad that your family has been reunited and is happier than ever. That is as it should be. Several years ago I found myself in a similar situation, only unfortunately I was on the other side of things. I married someone that had gone through a divorce and right away it was clear that our marriage should never have taken place. He was obviously still very much in love with his first wife and I know now that God wanted them to be together and wanted me to take a different path as well. Of course I didn't want to listen to Him right away. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, all worked inside me, making me try to keep that marriage going no matter how much it cost in terms of the suffering all of us were going through. After much prayer, one day when I woke up, God told me enough was enough. He told me to trust and believe He had a better plan for my life and to let go of the past and forgive myself as He had forgiven me. I called my husband and told him to pursue the divorce immediately and I would not contest it. My only request was that we would not remain friends or speak to each other again. He hesitated at first and then agreed that would be best for all concerned. He remarried his first wife and I have heard they are very happy. I moved to a different city, found a wonderful church that I love and married a kind, loving Christian man that the Lord brought into my life when I was ready to accept him. So you are right, God does have a way of working things out for the best. I am glad your family is together, I'm just sorry that it took so long for it to happen. God bless you and thank you again for sharing your story. You are a very strong, very faithful woman and your family is blessed to have you.

Anonymous said...

Hello everybody.

Am STEPHANIE from FLORIDA i want to share my life experience to every body on this site. i was in a serious relationship with mike i love him so much we have dated for almost 6 years now. until he meant another girl called charity he told me that he is know longer interested in dating me any more. i was so confuse i don't know what to do so i told my friend about what my love just told me and he told me that she can solve my problem i was doubting her how can that be possible so she directed me to a spell caster called DR AFILE .so i contacted him and i explain every thing to him and he told me that my problem will be solved within 2days if i believe i said OK .So he caste_ a spell for me and after 2days my love came back to me begging me on his knees on the ground asking me to forgive him. And I was surprise just like a dream and today Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body incase there is anyone out there that have such problem should contact him via afilewadadaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hello Everyone here i am Lucy by name and i just want to share with you on how i was help by Dr Gboco Email: gbocotemple@yahoo.com after all i have been through trying to get back my relationship with my husband i lost so much money and i did not get the result that i was looking for i cry all day and night because my husband ask me out of his life after our 3years marriage so a friend of mine in my office told me about much about Dr Gboco on how he help her with the job that she is now and how powerful the Dr Gboco is so i contacted him for help and ask me what need his gods to help me with i told him and he also told me to do some prayers which i did and after 1day i received a call from my husband asking me forgiveness i was so so surprise it was all like a dream as everything happen just the way Dr Gboco told me it was going to happen and now we are both together again and he even show me more love than even before.....thanks to you Dr Gboco.

Anonymous said...



I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hello everybody, my names is Cindy Davis Am from Canada i want to give thanks and honor to Dr.ATILA for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 24 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. ATILA proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my friends on my wedding which will coming up on 30/10/2013, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. ATILA who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through atilahealinghome@yahoo.com or cell number +2348169457829

shuna said...

i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster prophet jakula and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his email Address prophetjakula@gmail.com i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness..

pamela44 said...

Big thanks to Lord. Azeez, I just wanted to thank him for all his help and efforts with my situation with Chris. He broke up with me a few weeks ago and I found Lord. Azeez email on a blog and asked for his help. I had him cast a Return My Ex-Boyfriend Magick Love Spell on our behalf and I have to tell you that I am very pleased with the final outcome! I'm happy to say, we are back together again after a few short weeks apart! I was so miserable without him in my life. Lord. Azeez have made me so happy! I am ordering a Binding Love Spell right now to make sure we don't split up again! Thank you for all your hard work and attention to my serious problem! If you have the same problem contact him now on lordazeez1990@hotmail.com